Bloggers Block !! Post No 4 on my 30 day Blogging Challenge!

Yet I won't let myself off so easily, because I know when I finish my blog I feel so brave and complete. It's a similar feeling to when I first started to talk in public, after I joined my local toastmasters group! It was so incredibly scary & nerve wracking. Everyone was so kind and generous (just like Faith & other blogger colleagues here.) Pretty soon I was breathing my way through my speeches and often enjoying the process. One of the highlights of this period was entering the 'humorous speech' competition and winning. I still laugh when I think about this. I was practicing my speech during my break at Tafe, whilst studying art. The teacher asked me what I was doing and I said I was learning my speech for a contest. He demanded I read it/ speak it to the class. I was very reluctant to do this, as the speech was about the class and him and an exercise we were thrown into: Life drawing. A man just casually walked into the class room and took his clothes off. No one said a word!!! The teacher insisted we start drawing him! We had so little experience and the man posed in the most provocative stances!!! It was a bit unreal and at the same time hysterical!!!

Anyway, I guess I am remembering this and relating it to 'fear'. Some say Fear is just "False Evidence Appearing Real".

And just as, initially my fear of speaking in public, threatened to overcome or even annihilate me, so now it's a perceived new fear with 'blogging' . Fear of exposing myself, fear of not being enough. And that is the real reason I must 'blog' because it takes me through and out of the fear( which is unreal anyway) and away from separation. I can face this fear and 'blog' & it doesn't really matter. Writing takes me into a space where I connect with other people ( and myself) and that reminds me of our connection. Our oneness and interconnectedness. In revealing a piece of myself, any shame or self doubt falls away. I think in the sharing, I write for others too. I hope so. The judger goes away for a while and the little girl comes out to play!!

Everyone enjoy the new moon in Leo, a time to shine in our own unique and demonstrative way. A time to begin new and creative projects with pizzazz!

Blessings

Isabella